Fact - Domestic violence is a choice, and while it is common to see alcohol and drugs in an abusive relationship, they do not cause the violence. Blaming external factors, such as substance abuse, is a way for an abuser to avoid accepting personal responsibility for violent behavior, and for a victim to avoid accepting that the fault lies directly with the abuser.

Substance abuse and domestic violence are two separate problems that often occur together, but one does not cause the other. However, it is also noted that substance abuse can intensify existing violent behavior and raise the danger risk for the victim.

- - -

Myth - Domestic violence is an anger control issue.

Fact - Anger is a tool abusers use against their victims because they know it works. Domestic violence is not an anger control issue because abusers often stop when a phone rings, someone knocks at the door, or there is some other interruption.

- - -

Myth - Domestic violence occurs only in uneducated, minority or dysfunctional families.

Fact - Domestic violence touches every demographic group - regardless of race, ethnicity, economics, class, sexual orientation, occupation or education. There are doctors, ministers, psychologists, police, attorneys, judges and other professionals who beat their partners.

- - -

Myth - All domestic violence is physical.

Fact - While domestic violence can be physical, it can also be verbal, emotional, sexual and psychological.

- - -

Myth - Domestic violence eventually stops.

Fact - Domestic violence will continue to escalate until a successful intervention occurs.

- - -

Myth - Domestic violence is a family issue.

Fact - Domestic violence is everyone's issue. It affects and involves not only the people in the relationship, but neighbors, co-workers, family, friends, law enforcement and the judicial system.

- - -

Myth - It is easy to leave a violent relationship.

Fact - Victims are most at risk when they decide to leave a violent relationship. Most abusers have successfully isolated the victim so that they have no independent financial means or support. To leave is an enormous step, not a simple choice.

Source: Frederick County Sheriff's Office