The woman, whose name Ms. Lee still doesn't know, was steeling herself for a final goodbye when he arrived at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington. The soldier was strong enough for one last trip to see his wife and children.

"We shared a very stressful time," Ms. Lee said. "I went looking for something I could do for her, to say 'I care about you,' but I couldn't find anything to honor that military family."

She envisioned a book for children whose parents had been killed in service.

"Somebody needs to write that book," Ms. Lee thought after the experience. "Once I was in the thanatology program, I realized that someone had to be me."

In May 2004, the Boyds resident began Hood College's master's program in thanatology, the study of death, dying and bereavement. Ms. Lee's idea for the book started to take shape while she was in the Hood program, beginning as an independent project.

Initially Ms. Lee planned to only write the text of the book that became "The Hero in My Pocket," but the thanatology program's directors, Dana Cable and Terry Martin, encouraged her to further develop the project and publish the book.

The Tennessee Army National Guard includes "Hero" in its training tool kit for casualty assistance officers, who visit families to tell them a servicemember has died and provide administrative and emotional support.

The Military Child Education Coalition, a nonprofit organization based in Texas, is distributing the book to teachers and counselors as part of training in a new MCEC initiative, Living in the Normal: Supporting Children through Trauma and Loss. Ms. Lee chairs the initiative committee.

Ms. Lee is collaborating with an Army officer on a book designed for teenagers whose parents were killed in military service.

Starting 'Hero'

The process of writing "Hero" began in September 2004, Ms. Lee said. She completed a draft in just four weeks, starting after her son returned home from his first deployment to Iraq.

In the book's introduction, Ms. Lee addresses the widow she met at Walter Reed, and discusses how the experience resonated.

"All the way home from my shift that night, I cried ... for the realization that you could have been my daughter-in-law who, like me and countless others with loved ones deployed, fear the phone call that was your reality," Ms. Lee wrote. "Fear the sound of a car door slamming. Fear the sound of the doorbell ringing."

Ms. Lee's son Gregory, who is in his second deployment to Iraq, and his wife, Cara, reviewed the book.

Col. Rich Schweinsburg, a casualty and memorial affairs operations center chaplain, evaluated the book in 2005.

"(The book) is an excellent took to assist children, parents and grandparents with the grieving process," he wrote. "Additionally, it helps children understand that it's okay to feel sad and provides some simple but meaningful activities to help them work through the process."

Keeping memories

"Hero," primarily for children ages 6 to 12, is decorated with colorful illustrations by children whose relatives are in every branch of the military.

Ms. Lee said when she knows "Hero" is going directly to a child whose parent was killed, a team of volunteers wraps the book in a patriotic pocket with colored pencils and stickers.

Responses from surviving spouses who have read the book with their children have been positive and emotional, Ms. Lee said.

"Some of the notes I've gotten really choke me up," she said. "One of the widows said it was like opening a hug."

The story uses fictional 7- and 10-year-olds, whose father has been killed in service, to invite readers to remember and honor their own loved one.

Greg and Grace, the children in the story, treasure their father's camouflage jacket, which had many pockets. When he traveled, he promised them, "Your heart is in my pocket so I can take your love with me wherever I go."

The children cut out pockets from his jacket to keep with them but soon decide the pockets of their hearts are the best places for their father's love. Though they still carry keepsakes in the pockets of their clothes, the figurative pockets help them keep the same pledge to their father as the one he made to them.

In the book, readers are asked to draw and write on "hero pages" and discuss open-ended questions.

"Hero" is intended for grieving adults and children to read together, as it encourages communication, Ms. Lee said.

Children are often overlooked as grievers, Ms. Lee said, and those who have had parents die in military service may not have peers to turn to for support.

"It gives children their own voice, a chance to write or draw their part of the story," Ms. Lee said. "Their version, their memories -- giving children a voice means they're acknowledged as a griever."

"Hero" isn't only for servicemembers' biological children in a nuclear family, Ms. Lee said. The death can be devastating for many children, from the servicemember's stepchildren to nieces or nephews to children from a previous relationship.

"The book tries to be inclusive of who you love, not the legal definition of that relationship," she said.

Post your comments » Round 2: Snow expected to fall today, Wednesday Fast on the heels of the largest 24-hour snowfall to hit the Frederick County since 1983, meteorologists are predicting another round of heavy snow and wind to hit today. The National Weather Service issued a winter storm warning Monday afternoon for the area, including Frederick County, and said 10 to 20 inches of snow is possible by Wednesday night. Weather-related closings, delays A list follows of weather-related closings and cancellations for this week. Fire and police blotter Police search for robber School closures cause makeup schedule revision Even though Frederick County Public Schools are closed today -- using the sixth snow day this school year -- the school system will not hold school on the Monday Presidents Day holiday as the first scheduled snow makeup day. Crowds pay respect to fallen marine Even U.S. Marines couldn't hold back tears Monday at the viewing of their colleague, Sgt. David Smith. The procession to the Frederick Christian Fellowship Church was led by Frederick County Sheriff's deputies. Dressed in full military regalia, Marines carried Smith's casket into the church followed by family members as more Marines stood at attention.