Adults: You think you've got a good handle on teen diction? LOL and BRB -- that's all there is to it, right? Wrong. With the creative juices obviously flowing in the more-often-than-not distracted and still slightly undeveloped minds of teens, it's hard to keep up with all the fresh words and phrases that keep cropping up in the texts from your son or conversations with your daughter. What does she mean, "FTW"? Was he speaking English when he told his friend that he can't wait to celebrate Manvember?
Not to worry, moms and dads -- I've put together a short glossary to assist you with your day-to-day encounters with those odd members of the human race we call teens.
FTW: Most often used by girls via Facebook statuses and picture comments, "FTW" is short for "for the win" -- a way of showing appreciation for something. If you happen to enjoy marshmallows a lot, feel free to cheer "MARSHMALLOWS FTW!" Any teen in the vicinity will understand that you're simply expressing your love for the food.
Manvember: Manvember is practically an official holiday celebrated among teen males in high schools everywhere. Usually beginning in early November, this celebrated tradition involves guys beginning the month clean-shaven, only to end it with the fullest beards they can muster. This holiday inspires teenage boys to display their masculinity to the public, occasionally grossing girls out with the sudden excess of facial hair seen around school.
MLIA: Short for "my life is average," this phrase is perfect for almost any average situation that had the potential to become extraordinary, but didn't. Coined from the website Mylifeisaverage.com, your son or daughter may spend hours browsing the site, reading snippets of everyday tales that happen to other young adults around the world. Your son or daughter may use the phrase if rejected after asking that long shot to homecoming, having the car taken away for the weekend, or forgetting to bring a lunch to school.
Bromance: While the origins of this phrase are vague and unknown, the "bromance" is a simple enough concept. A clever mash-up of the words "brother" and "romance," a "bromance" is simply a close friendship between two males -- essentially the male version of "BFFs."
The "Awkward Turtle": More of a hand motion than a phrase, the "awkward turtle" involves placing one hand, palm-up, on top of the other, sticking out the thumbs, and moving them in a circular motion. This bizarre hand-movement obviously represents a turtle flailing on its back -- an awkward turtle. This motion is appropriate in any situation of extreme discomfort -- when you see an ex-boyfriend in the mall with your best friend, or when you trip in front of the cafeteria at lunch and spill that disgusting mystery meat all over your favorite top.
"Sitch," "Celeb," "Obvs" or any other jumble of letters: We teens live active, hectic lives. Therefore, we do not have the time to form full words or spell out entire nouns -- we prefer to shorten everything in the English language. The next time your daughter says "Obvs, Mom," take that to mean "Obviously!" Likewise, "sitch" can be translated to mean "situation," and so on.
Next time you catch your daughter sneaking in past curfew, surprise her by making the awkward turtle, or perhaps ask your son about his blossoming bromance with his teammate. For further instructions on how to fit in with today's innovative-minded teens, see urbandictionary.com. When in doubt, abbreviate everything -- we'll know what you mean.
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