Ever since the 2016 election, there’s been a contentious back and forth about what “Make America Great Again” really means.
For many, it represents the idea of the United States regaining its status as the greatest political, military and economic powerhouse — an ideal that many feel it has not lived up to in a long time.
Fair enough, I mean who doesn’t want their country to be strong, if not the strongest on these fronts.
Now to many others, including many people of color, the catch phrase is coded language with racial undertones, which they interpret to mean “Make America White Again.” Then of course there are the rest of us across the racial and socio-economic spectrum that fall somewhere in between.
But let’s consider this “Make America White Again” concept for a moment. What would need to happen? Say the cultural and political divide became so polarized that both sides decided to come to a peaceful solution before things got worse.
So indulge me for a minute and imagine that everybody who isn’t of certifiable or qualified Anglo-European-Alpine or Northern European stock voluntarily gets on a boat, plane, train or in an Uber and leaves the country for good; a mass exodus of “non-whites” plus Jews and Muslims.
Realize too that many certifiable or qualifying Caucasians would also join the exodus in solidarity. Now, the Italians and the Greeks might be allowed to stay since they’re “pretty much white” unless they also decided to leave in a show of solidarity. What would be left of the United States? Those remaining would likely say a homogenous paradise.
Well one thing I wonder about is what would happen to “American” cuisine. Would the remaining inhabitants ban all food that wasn’t of pure European origin? Like no more Rice and Beans, Pad Thai, Hummus with Naan Bread, Cuban Sandwiches, Fried Rice, Kung Pao Chicken, Peruvian Pollo a la Brasa, Tabbouleh, Sushi, Baba ghanoush, Tandoori chicken, and no Empanadas.
What? No empanadas? You can’t run a country without empanadas.
What would happen in our majestically beautiful city of Frederick, which has steadily grown into a “foodies” enclave as we all know. The population would shrink precipitously, many businesses would shut down due to a major decrease in clientele.
So what dining options would remain in America?
Fish and Chips? Haddock?
Oh yeah, we still have Borscht, Bratwurst & Sauerkraut and so on.
Fine, not bad you say. Personally, I’m not a fish guy but I can definitely get into some Bratwurst and Sauerkraut with a cold Pilsner — but every day?
Seven Days a week?
Okay you still have Shepard’s Pie, burgers, fries, hot dogs and some shellfish. So it could be worse, but what happens after the first month and suddenly you’re craving that empanada, black bean soup or eggroll? A mutiny?
With some luck, the Italians and the Greeks would stay stateside to give a little variety to the weekly fare but if they leave too, then things might get a bit repetitive around here. Of course I’m sitting here writing this article, on this Cinco de Mayo as my deadline approaches, sipping a cold Flying Dog Numero Uno and enjoying a delicious Chorizo and Pork filled Torta from The Taco Bar on the Golden Mile and I just thank my lucky stars for the fact that America is actually pretty great, just not perfect. But what country is?
Nelson embraces unconventional wisdom, writes from Myersville and doesn’t actually eat sushi. Email him at email@example.com.