The CDC finally hired a non-political scientist and relaxed restrictions for those vaccinated. But we can’t really get back to normal until almost everyone gets their shots.

I want to go see KIX at an overcrowded, body-odor rich, indoor venue (aka the Brunswick Fire Hall). I want to watch a huge Alive @ Five crowd scatter because of an unexpected thunderstorm. I want to temporarily lose my grandchildren on machinery row at the fair (like I lost my son Zach 20+ years ago). Some of you are still not getting vaccinated because you don’t trust your contemporaries, so I thought I would delve into history to see if prior philosophers had any relevant thoughts on vaccinations and the pandemic, hoping maybe you would trust them. Here is what some had to say. (Note: What follows is totally made up.)

Dr. Seuss (from The Cat in the Hat Gets Vaxxed)

From there to here and here to there

Vaccine clinics are everywhere

One vax, two vax, three vax, four

Look!! That senior citizen's arm is sore.

Trump said he’d be safe and that’s come to fruition,

Now he’ll be around to fund grandkids' tuition.

So if he’s now safe, why’s he still grouchy?

I do not know, better ask Dr. Fauci.

Shakespeare (from Hamlet, the Lost Acts)

Get thee to a vaccinery, go.


Thus, if thou wants an appointment,, for wise men know well enough what good you will do.

So to a vaccinery, go, and quickly.

Yogi Berra (from the New York Yankees)

“If you come to a vaccine in the road, take it.”

“The pandemic ain’t over til Dr. Fauci says it’s over.”

“No one moves to Florida nowadays, it’s too crowded with people from New York, New Jersey, California and Michigan.”

I’m now begging you. Drop your unfounded apprehensions. Do your civic duty. Man up. Get yourself and your kids vaccinated as soon as you can.

(5) comments

Greg F

CDC always had scientists. Republicans can’t or refuse to abide or understand them. This article should have been left on the cutting room floor given the opening ideal.


"The CDC finally hired a non-political scientist and relaxed restrictions"? Hello, the CDC has always been run by scientists. Trump is the one who politicized the CDC. You probably remember him publicly disagreeing with CDC director when the director stressed the importance of masking. If you are not up to googling, below are a few links to other ways Trump undermined the CDC. The difference with the new CDC director is that she has support from the president.


Great LTE yet again Mark! You need to come back to the FNP with a column. Maybe that will increase readership in this flagging local paper.


Not as funny as you used to be. You should know it's not "pc" to say "man up" anymore. You will be the "butt" of many jokes.


It has been replaced by "C'mon man"

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