Kales and chards — the soggy slop of cafeteria trays — now pop up dressed to kill on haute cuisine menus. Cauliflower is the pale new queen of side dishes, paired with everything from anchovies to kumquats.

But the real shocker is Brussels sprouts.

Those little green orbs have been yanked front and center on the menus of fine dining establishments all over. Roasted and topped with everything from currants to garlic (and bacon — lots of bacon), Brussels sprouts are amazingly delicious.

But which ones are best?

The only way to decide was a taste test.

Sixteen News-Post employees gathered around a conference table recently to sample sprouts from six Frederick eateries and share their reactions. In a blind taste test, they graded the dishes from A to F and offered comments. Here are the results.

The winners

Ayse Meze Lounge is the only restaurant I know where almost everyone orders Brussels sprouts — and there’s a reason for that. Ayse’s “brüksel lahanasi,” prepared with walnuts, capers, currants and honey ($8), tied with Acacia’s Brussels sprouts with butternut squash and bacon salt ($9) for first place. Both earned an average B grade from our tasters.

Although not everyone could identify the secondary vegetable (carrots maybe, or sweet potato?), Acacia’s pairing of sprouts and squash was deemed a winner, with such comments as “Perfectly seasoned, good texture,” “Spicy, buttery, tender, a touch of sweetness make a tasty treat,” “Squash makes it good for fall,” “Colorful, salty, sweet. Nice crunch,” “… my first Brussels sprout. This one is the winner.” On the down side, one taster said the dish was too oily and another commented simply “Meh.”

Ayse’s sweet roasted sprouts also received high marks. Some tasters were surprised and challenged by what one described as “an exotic delicious flavor” that did not overwhelm the vegetable’s flavor. Comments included “a lovely, slightly sweet seasoning,” “nice crunchy texture, nutty and flavorful,” “good taste in every bite,” “salty, caramelized,” “good char, crunchy” “simple sprout flavor” and “magically delicious.” One detractor noted an “odd flavor” while another described “Chinese food meets Brussels sprouts — interesting concept ... but I disliked them.”

The middle of the pack

Isabella’s Coles de Bruselas, baked with manchego cheese, caramelized onions and toasted almonds ($6.99), got a C+ grade; the Tasting Room’s Brussels sprouts with bacon, cippolini onion and parmigiano reggiano ($8) earned a C; Family Meal’s crispy Brussels sprouts with bacon ($4.99) took home a C-.

Isabella’s well-sauced sprouts got the widest range of reactions — several based on the generous use of garlic. “A bit garlicky, but that’s a good thing” wrote one person, while “too much garlic, would easily kill a vampire” and “ends badly,” asserted others. The generous saucing also got mixed feedback: “Cheese enhanced the Brussels sprouts, if you like your veggies flavored by cheese,” “Not bad, if the goal is to conceal the taste of the sprouts and make them taste like garlic pasta,” “Delicious. Creamy. I would put this over pasta — and love it!” “Plenty of onions, fat and garlic. The Brussels sprouts trifecta,” “I feel very unhealthy after eating this, and I loved it,” “creamy goodness … fat is flavor” and “buttery goodness.”

The Tasting Room also got mixed reviews, with most thumbs up for the bacon. “What’s not to like about bacon? Oh, were there Brussels sprouts in there too?” one person wrote, and another commented, “Tastes bacon-y. That’s always a great way into some people’s hearts.” Others described the sprouts as “perfectly roasted,” “good crunch, semi-sweet flavor and very tender.” On the downside, the sprouts were “almost burnt,” “sort of boring” and had “too much bacon grease!”

Family Meal’s sprouts with bacon came in for a bit more of a beating, with several tasters describing them as burnt. “The grill overwhelmed the poor sprouts,” said one, and “A little bitter. Would work well with a whiskey chaser,” commented another, and “I liked the idea — simple, roasted, cut into small pieces. But my bite tasted burnt,” said a third. The bacon was a plus. Comments included, “Good texture, smoky and has bacon, so it’s a winner,” “Lots of bacon … very good” and “Everything is better with bacon. Everything.” But one apron-stringed taster observed, “Mom wouldn’t like it.”

In last place …

The sprouts of the Golden Corral’s hot bar ($4.99/pound) brought out everyone’s inner child — but seldom in a good way — and earned a solid D. The most often used adjective was “mushy.”

Comments: “brought back childhood nightmares,” “What is left on the plate when a parent threatens to withhold dessert,” “Pure torture that brought back memories of childhood punishments” and “Reminds me of why I hated Brussels sprouts as a kid.” But for a couple of tasters, that old-school sprout flavor hit the mark. “True Brussels sprouts,” commented one purist. “Soft, good and not overpowering flavor,” said another, while a third described them as “the only entry that actually resembled a Brussels sprout.”

The Dish reports on unannounced dining experiences. Suggestions are welcome at 72Hours@newspost.com.

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DETAILS

Ayse Meze Lounge, 6 N. East St., Frederick 240-651-5155

Acacia, 129 N. Market St., Frederick 301-694-3015

Isabella’s, 44 N. Market St., Frederick 301-698-8922

The Tasting Room, 101 N. Market St., Frederick 240-379-7772

Family Meal, 880 N. East St., Frederick 301-378-2895

Golden Corral, 5621 Spectrum Drive, Frederick 301-662-5922